Macbeth: The Out Takes
by Cypher
Summary: What happens after a major Macbeth English test? This zany, crazy, and wild fic!


**Macbeth: The Out Takes**

**A silly RW crossover**

by CypherCA   
  
  
  


Okay, this is what happens when you study for a BIG Macbeth final, and then read a bunch of silly RW fiction. This has nothing to do with any of my other fics, and I don't own the Ronins or Macbeth. The location is represented as so: Act.Scene. Enjoy.   
  
  
  


**1.1**   
  


1st Witch:: When shall we three meet again. In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

2nd Witch:: When the hurlyburly's done, when the battle's lost and won.

3rd Witch:: Um.......where am I?

1st Witch:: No! That's not your line!

3rd Witch:: *removes hood to reveal Cye* Well, someone just grabbed me, put me in this robe, and shoved me on the set.

2nd Witch:: Damn it! She's run off to the bars again.

1st Witch:: Well, *looks at Cye* I guess he'll do. Make-up! *Cye is surrounded by make-up people and he disappears in a cloud of white powder*   
  


**1.3**   
  


1st Witch:: Where hast thou been, sister?

2nd Witch(Cye):: *grumbles* I'm not going to do this.

3rd Witch:: Yes you are.

1st Witch:: *has Cye in choke hold* You. Are. Going. To. Do. The. Lin-

Blond Model:: I'm back. *Cye, 1st, and 3rd Witch look at the model*

3rd Witch:: Where the hell have you been?!!

Blond Model:: Out getting a quick drink before we started.

1st Witch:: *drops Cye* We're already in Scene Three!!!!!!!

Blond Model:: Well, just get that nice young man out of my clothes and I'll be ready. *make-up and costume first surround Cye, then the Model* 

Cye:: *blushing and trying to cover his sudden indecency* Um, could some one please give me something to wear.

3rd Witch:: *turns to Cye* Why? I think that's a good look on you.

Cye:: *whimper*

2nd Witch(Blond Model):: Oh, leave him be. He was kind enough to fill in for me. *grabs an extra Banquo costume* Here you go. Run along now. *Cye picks up clothes and runs like the dickens* Now, shall we start?   
  


**1.4**   
  


Duncan:: Is execution done on Cawdor? Are not those in commission yet returned?

Malcolm:: My liege, they are not yet come back. But I have spoke with one that saw him di-

Kento:: *in prisoner wardrobe* What the hell do you want?! Stay away from me with that *swipe* *Kento looks at the now headless statue* axe! 

Axeman:: You are the Thane of Cawdor, and you were supposed to die already!!!

Kento:: *running again* Man, I wish I had my armor. *axeman chases after him out of the throne room*

Duncan:: Well, this scene is ruined.   
  


**1.6**   
  


Duncan:: See, see! Our honoured hostess! *pointing to Mia*

Mia:: How did I get here?

Duncan:: Er, I didn't finish.

Mia:: *clueless* Finish what?

Lady Macbeth:: *enters* Who are you and what are you doing in my scene?!

Mia:: *looks at L. Mac.* I'm trying to figure out what's going on.

Lady Macbeth:: SECURITY!

Mia:: Eep.   
  


**2.3**   
  


Macduff:: *to L. Mac. and Banquo* Our royal master's murdered!

Lady Macbeth:: Woe, alas! What, in our house?

Sekhmet:: *running by with only a shirt and boxers* WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!! THE END IS COMING!! AAAAAHHHHHHHH*clang* *Porter stands over fallen Sekhmet with the now dented bell he was ringing*

Porter:: You were saying?

Banquo:: *ahem*   
  


**3.1**   
  


*Macbeth is talking to the three murderers*

Murderer 1:: *taps Murderer 3 on the shoulder* Psst. You're line.

Murderer 3:: *turns to Macbeth* I won't let you kill innocent people!! Not anymore!! *pulls off murderer garment to reveal Dais*

Murderer 2:: Who are you?

Dais:: I'm a Ronin Warrior, sworn to pro-*Murderer 1 has a knife at his throat*

Murderer 1:: Where's Murderer 3?

Dais:: *gulp* Uh, in the closet.

Macbeth:: *sigh*   
  


**3.2**   
  


Lady Macbeth:: Is Banquo gone from court?

Servant:: How should I know lady?

Lady Macbeth:: *snaps* Is that how you talk to your mistress, slave?!

Servant:: Look lady, I'm no one's slave. 

Macbeth:: *enters with Servant* Sorry we're late. We had some problems with that Dais guy. *Lady Macbeth looks from Servant one to Servant two*

Lady Macbeth:: If that's the Servant, then who are you? *confused*

Servant:: Yuli.

Cale:: *suddenly appears* DIE YOU ANNOYING BRAT!!! *goes after a now fleeing Yuli*

Lady Macbeth:: Let's try this again.   
  


**3.4**   
  


*Macbeth enters and a ghost is sitting, filling up the last seat*

Macbeth::The table's full.

Lennox:: Here is a place reserved, sir.

Macbeth:: Where?

Ghost:: You can have my seat. I don't even know why I was summoned here. *whole cast looks at him*

Macbeth:: If you are not the ghost of Banquo, who are you?

Ghost:: I'm called the Ancient.

Voice:: Ancient? Where did you go? Stupid old castles can be-*body of voice comes around corner, it is another ghost* Here you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.

Ancient:: Do you know where we are?

Voice:: Haven't a clue.

Lennox:: Who're you?

Voice:: Anubis.

Lord 3:: And you're both.....ghosts? *Anubis nods head, all except for Lady Macbeth faint*

Ancient:: I guess we should go.

Lady Macbeth:: Yes, you should. *the two disappear, and she looks at the men on the floor* Superior sex indeed.   
  


**3.5**   
  


1st Witch:: Why, how now, Hecate, you look angerly.

Hecate:: *ignores her*

2nd Witch:: *whispers* Your line. *Hecate turns her head, revealing the long, blue hair rolled up in a bun*

Hecate(Kayura):: What the ^&*^& is going on?!

3rd Witch:: Oh great. We summoned the worst bitch in the universe, not the worst witch.    
  


**4.1**   
  


2nd Witch:: Double, double, toil and trouble.

3rd Witch:: Imbecile! That's the title to the Olsen twin's Halloween movie. *all shudder at the name of the two blonds*

**#Later#**

Hecate:: Like elves and fairies in a ring, enchanting all that you put in. *calls spirits*

Badamon:: What do you wish of my neither spirits?

Hecate:: *stares* How did I call you?

Badamon:: I have no clue.

Hecate:: *takes long, hard look* Hmmm...want to come over to my place? Maybe we can.....get to know each other's shawls.

Badamon:: Uh......*sly grin, suddenly realizing what she meant* Sure. *both disappear*

1st Witch:: Great, now the scene really is ruined.

**#Even Later#**

All Witches:: Come, high or low; thyself and office deftly show.

*first Apparition appears, an armored head*

Talpa:: I will have the Ronin armors.

Macbeth:: *Dr. Evil like* Right.

*Talpa leaves, and the second Apparition appears, a naked child covered in blood that is bald*

Sage:: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR?! AND WHY AM I NAKED?!

3rd Witch:: Oops. Sorry girls, that's my date later tonight. *Witches stare*

*Sage disappears and the third Apparition appears with a crown, royal robe, and a tree in his hand*

Rowen:: Ohhh. Birnam wood. This stuff is hard to find. *removes crown, tears start to form in his eyes* They like me! They really like me! *Macbeth stares*

Macbeth:: HE'S supposed to be my downfall?!

2nd Witch:: Boy, this scene is the most screwed up of them all.   
  


**5.1**   
  


Lady Macbeth:: *sleep walking* Yet here's a spot.

Doctor:: Hark, she speaks! I will ser down what comes from her, to satisfy my remembrance the more strongly.

Lady Macbeth:: Out, damned spot! Out, I say! *Nurse looks at floor*

Nurse:: Hey, there really is a spot there. AAAAHHHH!! *jumps into Doctor's arms as a White Tiger runs into the room*

White Blaze:: Boy, that spot won't come out easily. I knew I should've gone to the dungeon. Ryo's not going to be happy. *Ryo walks in and sees the spot*

Ryo:: White Blaze!!! *tiger runs down the stairs* I'll deal with you later. *disappears and reappears with a soapy water and a towel, and starts to rub the spot with the soapy towel* It would help if you would move lady.

Lady Macbeth:: *still sleepwalking* Yet here's a spot!

Ryo:: I can see that. Stop complaining. Grrr. *rubs spot harder* Out, damn you!

Doctor:: *still holding nurse* You know, if she's out here, that means that her bedroom is unoccupied. *Nurse and Doc look at each other before running into the dark bedroom*   
  


**5.7**   
  


Malcolm:: *saying big final speech*.......What's more to do, which would be planted newly with-*loud clanking is heard from the field, every one looks and sees nine boys in full armor, the outlines of two ghosts, a white tiger, a boy, and Talpa running away from a pissed off Mia and Kayura*

Mia:: GET BACK HERE YOU COWARDS!!!

Kayura:: YEAH! YOU HAVE YARD WORK AND CLEANING TO DO!!!! YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF IT THIS TIME!!!

Ryo:: Is it just me, *pant, pant* or are they getting faster?

Talpa:: It's not just you.

Cale:: A pissed off Mia and Kayura is worse than Talpa ever was. 

Talpa:: You said it.

Mia and Kayura:: I HEARD THAT!!!

Rowen:: *glances back* Shit! Run faster guys, they're gaining on us! *all of them disappear into the sunset, leaving a very stunned Malcolm and crew behind*   
  
  
  


hehehe. The poor Ronins. Oh well. If they're lucky, they won't be in another Shakespear fic any time soon.

Rowen:: I hope not.

Awe, did my favorite Ronin not like being the third Apparition?

Rowen:: NO!

Look at it this way, at least I didn't give you Sage's part.

Sage:: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT TO MY HAIR!!!

Believe it baby. Hehe. *looks at White Blaze, who is running out of the house * Uh oh.

Ryo:: WHITE BLAZE!!! *runs after tiger, then sticks head back in door* Uh, Cypher, have you noticed that the living room rug needs washing? *continues to go after White Blaze*

He better not mean what I think he means.

Cye:: Oh yuck! Cypher, have you seen what White Blaze did to the rug?!

*sigh* Kento, your turn.

Kento:: I don't want to!

Would you rather I write Romeo and Juliet and make you Juliet's handmaien?

Kento:: *runs into living room and scrubbing wet spot* Out, damned spot! 

I guess that's going to be a regular line around here. Hope you enjoyed this psychotic episode of writing.


End file.
